Those Little Knobbly Horns On A Giraffes Head Are Lightning Conductors

Cadmium is odd stuff. It's a metal, but you can slice through it with a knife like it's strange shiny cheese. I wouldn't eat it though. What I really like about cadmium is that it makes a really fucking cool noise. Get a long bar of the stuff and bend it. It screams. How cool is that? Scares the shit out of you if y're not expecting it. Which, let's face it, y're not.

For reasons that escape me, my brain soaks up completely useless information like a weird sponge*. What possible reasons could my unconcious mind have for squirreling away all this crap? Where the fuck does it put it all? How does it store it? Is memory persisitent or does the mind reconstruct memories anew whenever they are recalled? Is consciousness an emergent property of vastly complex quantum fields? Fuck knows. Is Marmite created by forcing millions of yeasts (is that the right word)to commit ritual suicide? Pretty much. Have I been at the bong again? Possibly. Am I likely to write anything remotely sensible this evening? Probably Not. Does the singer in Comets On Fire sound like Noddy Holder? Definitely. Am I going to tell you what's going on in my life? Not at this precise moment, no. Apart from to say Bloody Hell :-)

*(copyright Caspar Gordon 1995)