Why?

I'm getting really fucking sick of this shit. Today, I should have been at K's housewarming, tucking into what sounded like some serious curry, getting pleasantly drunk and talking bollocks with good people. Instead I spent half the afternoon curled in a ball, shaking and crying after freaking out totally for no fucking reason whatsoever. What the fuck is going on? Why does this keep happening to me? I just feel so fucking stupid right now. Yeah, I've had a few setbacks lately but it's not like my life's shit, I've got some of the best friends anyone could wish for, I'm playing the best music of my life right now, my jobs great, I live in a wonderful part of a city I love. Life is good, so why the fuck do I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams?