Magic Nose Goblins

Yes it's fucking hot. And I fucking love it. My brain has shut down for the day and decided it's not coming out to play until it's been plied with several glasses of icy sloe gin and tonic. Put simply, the combination of beautiful weather and my unusually good mood has turned me into Stimpy*, because thinking is frankly too much like hard work at the moment, as, for that matter, is work itself. Plus I've just spent an irritating 45 minutes trying to send one bastard email only for the fucking browser to crash every single bloody time I try. Normally this would provoke unbelievable amounts of despicable language, and possible damage to both computer and foot, but it's too damn hot to get electronirage, plus it's hard to get angry when you've got a big stoopid grin on your face. Also. I do tend to stick my tongue out when I'm concentrating, so apart from the fact that I'm not a cat and don't have a blue nose, my expression is worryingly similar to that of Stimpson J. Cat above. Time to go and sit by the river with a fucking big drink.

*Go and beg, steal or borrow the first two series of Ren & Stimpy if you know it not, cos it's still the finest example of animated stupidity ever if you ask me. On the other hand, if you're a fan too, why not sing along to the log song with me...

"It's Lo-og, Lo-og, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood,
It's Lo-og, Lo-og, it's better than bad, it's good!"

20 Pieces Of Delicious Brainfood

Josephine Foster - Wolf In Sheeps Clothing (Locust)
Harvey Milk - Singles (Relapse)
Various - Min2Max (Minus)
Everlovely Lightningheart - Cusp (Hydrahead)
Pharoah Sanders - Iphizo Zam (Strata East)
Caravan - If I Could Do It All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over You (Deram)
Tony Conrad - Slapping Pythagoras (Table Of The Elements)
Skullflower - Obsidian Shaking Codex (RRR)
Fred McDowell - Long Way From Home (Milestone)
Susanna Deyhim - Madmen Of God (Crammed)
Boredoms - Seadrum (Warner Japan)
John Coltrane - Om (Impulse!)
Allman Brothers - Eat A Peach (Capricorn)
Tusk - Tree Of No Return (Tortuga)
Slowbone - Live 72 (Bootleg)
Chrome - Read Only Memory (Siren)
Hatfield & The North - The Rotters Club (Virgin)
Th' Faith Healers - Lido (Too Pure)
Various - Congotronics Vol.2 (Crammed)
Peter Green - The End Of The Game (Reprise)

Operating Outside Normal Design Parameters

My job kicks arse. This weather is fucking wonderful. Unfortunately the combination of the two can be fucking evil. Particularly if y're already in a somewhat arsey mood and covered in stinking grease. Ever had to work in a fucking glass lift shaft on a day as hot as yeaterday? Probably not. A word of advice; Don't. I have no problem with temperatures of over 120F if i'm on a fucking boat or something, but I could do without it in what's essentially a fucking vertical greenhouse. Only without the plants.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Call Of The Wintermoon by Immortal. Words fail me. I laughed so hard at the last minute or so I was sick. Check out Horghs evil wizard outfit. Classy.

All Together Now, "Ride The Dragon Toward The Crimson Eye, Flap The Wings Under Mars Red Sky"

God I love Youtube. I hadn't seen this in fucking years. In case you hadn't guessed from the foolish lyrics quoted above, it's the promo to Dragonaut by Sleep. You don't need to know me that well to understand the importance this group hold for me, so I'm not going to bang on too much. Suffice to say, this is heavy as fuck, grooves like a bastard and is the greatest piece of music about riding dragons in space ever. Plus it also boasts Al Cisneros' patented peculiar sproinging bass sound that comes across like a warped Geezer playing through Bootsy Collins' rig. Enjoy.

They Live In Shelters Beneath The Sky And Drink In Cold Starlight

Although I'm at a bit of a low ebb, for a number of reasons, this entry is still going to concentrate on something positive in an attempt to stop me wallowing. And that positive something is the reformation of Thor's Helmet.

Oh yes. TH is back, and there will be gigs this time, and a cd available to anyone mad enough to want one, which will probably have the following "songs" on it...

1. Crucified Galaxy
2. Snakeskin Woman
3. NGC 2359
4. Planet Fucker
5. Malachandria


Last time it all fell apart, mainly due to my exceedingly fucked-up state of mind at the time, not to mention a collective capacity for alcoholic excess and strange behaviour which made us somewhat unwelcome at several rehearsal studios. But I'm nowhere near as fucked-up as this time last year and TH has some serious unfinished business. So even if the gigs and album end up just being a good way to lay the project to rest, or we actually manage to carry on this time, I can't fucking wait to play that fucking riff from Malachandria again. As Alan Partridge said, let's hope it all doesn't end in blind, ugly violence...