Doctor Marburg, There's Trouble In The Monkey House...

It's not Simian Fever though, just the unbelievably archaic self-erasing, randomly collapsing database at work. It's limping along like the guy in the Jackass movie who stuck a toy car up his arse for an x-ray. The stunning level of boredom which is often reached in our office when said computer system slows down to had-cranked babbage speeds means we have far too much spare time today. So, instead of arseing around on the interweb all day, we invented a new game. Extreme Petanque*. The rules are the same, but instead of a jack you drive a large earthing spike into a suitable patch of grass and for the boules we found a much better alternative. Fucking huge toroidal transformers**. The rules are exactly the same, except you have to stand quite a way further back than you would normally before chucking the bastards as you can get a hell of a lot more momentum when you throw 'em, and 'cos you hold them with your fingers through the hole in the middle, their trajectory can be somewhat wayward, plus they don't half fucking roll if they hit the ground edgewise. A perfect game for a balmy evening. If you have a fucking huge garden or are just into indiscrimnate destruction that is.

*Or boules, or whatever the French version of bowls is called.

**The doughnut shaped ones you find in nice hi-fi amps, just much bigger...